If you’re not familiar with the term, it’s become quite the popular Twitter hashtag. And, if you’re not familiar with what a hashtag is, just stick with the overall concept: Epic, and fail and you’ll be all right.

1) JaMarcus Russell
Now, without question, the biggest bust in NFL history. And, I’m not talking breast size. Recently [...]

You’ve probably heard the arguments in the illegal alien debate—they’re just looking to make a better life for themselves. They want to embrace the American dream. And of course, the ol‘ ‘They’re willing to do jobs Americans don’t want to.’ Well, I think that’s utter crap, particularly with the economy in the shitter, but really, [...]

1) Hire Billy Martin

2) Shake up that ’27 Yankees lineup

3) Threaten to sit Lou Gherig next time his batting average drops below .320

4) Raise ticket prices for seats in Jesus level and apostle box seats

5) Fire Billy Martin

6) Interview managerial candidates. On short list: Casey Stengel, Billy Martin…

7) Demand God supply new stadium with [...]

This list is Quantum Leap defined, meaning, I could only travel to one point or another in my lifetime. Still, no shortage of visits I’d like to make to the past.

1) Sept. 10, 2001
Could I stop it? Maybe, maybe not. Isn’t this the conundrum everyone from Steven Hawking to theoretical physicists to Gene Roddenbury has [...]

1) Invocation, led by Grand Imperial Wizard of the KKK.

2) Festivities kicked off with Lynchburg Lemonade toast.

3) That drunk Ted Kennedy not around to pinch granddaughters’ ass and make a fool of himself trying to pick up female wait staff.

4) Guide dogs banned, but tracking dogs ready for post-service rousting of local minorities. (Both of [...]

1) Cum On Feel The Boyz (Slade)

2) Pole-smokin’ In The Boys Room (Brownsville Station)

3) Girls Girls Girls (Motley Crue)

4) Shaved-Smooth Operator (Sade)

5) Baby Love (Diana Ross)

6) Rough Boys (Pete Townshend)

7) Where the Boys Are (Connie Francis)

8) Don’t Tell Your Mama (DLux)

9) Crimes of Passion (Madonna)

10) The Kids Are All Tight (The Who)

11) Forbidden Love [...]

Seems like everywhere I go, somebody makes an effort to sell me some substitute-form of what I actually ask for. Lite this, fat-free that, lower-cholesterol something or other. Hey, didn’t I just request something specific? How tough is it to give me…what I fucking asked for? Anyway, when any of the following items are proposed [...]

1) Start eating pork rinds

2) Ask the Imam, “Hey, didn’t I see you last weekend at that ZZ Top convention?”

3) Ask the person kneeling next to you, “Do those 72 virgins come bathed, or unwashed like the rest of you?”

4) Approach a woman wearing a burqa and say, “Hey, I remember you. You were in [...]

I have to admit, the day Google put up its playable Pac Man doodle, I freaked. First thing I thought upon hearing the Pac Man death sound? “Man, this has got to be one bitch of a virus…” Of course, it wasn’t, merely a bit of fun on the part of the folks at Google. [...]

1) A 1954 Wurlitzer jukebox
I have a special attachment to the year 1954 (I won’t go into it here), and I love the look of that piece of hardware. But, now that I can’t see it, and you’d have to gut the thing in order to enable it to play current music, there’s no reason [...]